A Certain Affinity
by deaka
Summary: Mara’s not one of them, exactly, but she’s not an outsider. Han and Mara missing scene, pre-SOTP.


**Title:** "A Certain Affinity"  
**Rating:** G  
**Warnings:** None  
**Characters:** Mara Jade, Han Solo  
**Pairings:** None  
**Keywords:** Canon, missing scene, friendship, character study

**Summary:** Mara's not one of them, exactly, but she's not an outsider.

* * *

"You'll put someone's eye out with that thing," Han commented.

The redhead woman at the end terminal turned, hand dropping to the blaster holstered by the familiar lightsaber. Her stance relaxed somewhat as she saw it was him. "Solo," she said. Her gaze flicked past him and returned.

"Mara," he said in greeting.

She tilted her head. "What are you doing here?"

"Checking on my ship."

"The_ Millennium Falcon_ is docked in a public spaceport?"

Han crossed his arms. "Wouldn't want people thinking I've gone soft."

He thought he saw her lip twitch. "Ah," she said. She turned back to the transaction window she'd been interacting with, keyed something into the datafield, and turned back, tucking away a barter card.

"Doesn't hurt to have her out on display, either," Han added. "Just to remind everyone she's still in top shape. Gives them something to aspire to."

"Oh, everyone sees that," Mara agreed, falling into step with Han.

He gave her a narrow look. "You making a comment about my ship?"

"Only that she's worthy of her fame," Mara said.

"Huh," Han said dubiously. His ability to read Mara Jade tended to ebb and flow. Or maybe it was her that shifted – easy to read sometimes (far easier, he suspected, than she intended to be); and then other times, completely inscrutable. "So where are you docked?"

She nodded toward the Red sector. "I'm using one of Karrde's bays."

"I heard you'd gone legit," he said. "Left the smuggling trade behind."

"Mostly." She eyed him. "I still do the occasional job for Karrde on the side."

"How's the business thing working out?"

"Very well. Why?"

Han shrugged. "I always took you for more of a team player."

She frowned at him, her body language shifting. Defensive. "Meaning?"

"Pooling your skills, having something or someone to back you up," Han said. "You can be a loner and still prefer working for something bigger than yourself."

She blinked. "I think you're confusing me with someone else."

"Hey, I know the feeling myself," Han said to mollify her.

"That's what I meant."

Han narrowed his eyes at her, then smiled deliberately. "How's Lando?"

She looked blank for a moment, then her gaze flattened. In another instant her expression was smooth again. "Haven't seen him."

"You're not working together anymore?" Han asked innocently.

"Not at the moment," Mara said.

"I thought that you and he…" Han twirled a finger idly.

Mara narrowed her eyes, then shrugged and looked away. "He's good at what he does," she said. "But I think we may be a little too alike in some ways."

Han wondered what to make of that. Lando's strong regard for her had been plain for a while. Han wasn't sure there was anything in it, beyond Lando's almost instinctive reaction to a certain type of woman – generally the more confident the better. Lando's love life usually consisted of short-lived affairs with little chance of messy fallout at the inevitable end. That was part of the reason Han had been surprised at the hint that Lando was seriously interested in Mara.

He rather suspected Mara went for a similar relationship type, something where she'd be firmly on comfortable ground. Beyond Lando, he'd heard surprisingly little about her private life. He hadn't exactly been searching for information, but he kept a well-tuned ear out. Something like self-preservation, he thought.

'Good at what he does,' was probably a strong compliment in her book. That said quite a bit about her priorities. Han scratched his chin, felt an odd recognition, then almost sorry for her. Almost. Pity was not an emotion that would ever sit well on Mara Jade. "Been to Luke's academy lately?" he asked.

"No," Mara said. As though he'd asked her if she'd seen Palpatine downtown, in fact. Like it was a very stupid question. "Why?"

"I thought, you know, the Jedi mumbo jumbo and all."

"I'm no Jedi," Mara said. "If Luke's told you otherwise…"

"… if he's told me otherwise?" Han prompted.

She frowned. "Then he's delusional."

"Now _that_ doesn't sound like Luke at all."

Mara looked startled. Then she smiled. Han went on, "He hasn't said you're a Jedi. Doesn't really mention you much, really. That was why I wondered if you'd been around. That and – " He nodded at the lightsaber on her belt. "That."

"This?" She brushed her fingers over the silver hilt. "It comes in handy."

"Brings back some memories. Did you know I used that thing to cut open a Tauntaun once? Now that wasn't pleasant at all."

"Do I want to know what a Tauntaun is?"

Han curled his lip. "Probably not. Woolly things that stink, live on Hoth. We used to ride them on patrol. Snowspeeders couldn't handle the weather."

"And you were cutting it open why?"

"To stick Luke inside," Han said. "He was dying of hypothermia at the time. Kept raving about Ben and Dagobah. He was very grateful later, but then he didn't have to smell himself after spending the night in a Tauntaun."

"That's a story I've not heard before."

"Yeah, Luke doesn't tell it too often. Probably not very Jedi-like, being saved by a smuggler sticking you into a dead Tauntaun while you're unconscious."

"If it keeps you alive – " Mara shrugged.

"That's what I figured."

"I trust the lightsaber was thoroughly cleaned later?" She was regarding her belt with a new suspicion.

"Yeah, Luke cleaned it while he was in the infirmary. He got suddenly rather ungrateful about the Tauntaun innards in the control mechanisms. Weird."

"Weird," Mara agreed. There was a pause for a bit, and then she said – almost entirely concealing her discomfort, Han noted – "So… how is Leia? And the children?"

"They're fine," Han said. "Jaina's down with Chewie working on the Falcon, actually. Want to come say hello?"

"Uh, no. I have to get back to my ship."

Han looked at her, amused. "Jaina doesn't bite. Well, unless you're trying to kidnap her or some such. The kids can all defend themselves pretty well – the Noghri have taught them a thing or two."

"I'm not great with children," Mara said. "Really, Solo, I've got to get back."

"I used to think that," Han said. "Kids? Me? Never."

Mara paused. "What changed your mind?"

"Leia."

Mara frowned. "She wanted children?"

"She didn't want children. But I did, all of a sudden. And after a bit, she did too." He opened his hands. "Something just changes. I don't know what it is."

"Explains a lot," Mara said dryly.

"No charge," Han said. They'd reached the corridor that branched between the different sectors of the port. He hesitated, then said, "Hey, listen…"

Mara frowned.

He exhaled. "That thing with using the Force, but choosing not to be a Jedi. How's it working out for you?"

She looked at him. Then she levelled a finger, eyes dangerously narrow. "Are you sure this isn't coming from Skywalker? Because I will kill him _and_ you."

He held up his hands. "Hey, smuggler's honour. I was just wondering."

"Wondering what?" Mara's expression was still guarded, but slightly less murderous.

"The kids are pretty strong in the Force, I'm told," Han said. "Luke takes it for granted that they'll be Jedi when they're adults. Leia – she kind of goes along with most of what Luke says in regard to the Force, especially with the kids. I just wonder sometimes what happens if one of them doesn't want to be a Jedi. If Jacen wants to – I don't know, run a xenobiological zoo. If Anakin wants to work with droids and design ships. If Jaina wants to plot hyperspace routes."

"They can do those things and be Jedi, can't they?"

Han looked at her, quirked an eyebrow. "From what I've seen, a Jedi is a Jedi, whatever he's doing."

Mara's face opened up slightly. Han wondered if she knew he was talking about Luke. "I won't lie," she said. "It is difficult. Force skills aren't some magical ability that you can use perfectly forevermore once you've learned how. You need to use them constantly, or the ability fades. Sometimes it's frustrating, feeling the Force, knowing there's more you can do or something you should be able to understand, if you just had that extra experience." She shrugged. "It's a tradeoff you have to be willing to make, to sacrifice that extra understanding and ability for – whatever you want to call it."

"What do you call it?"

She looked at him, seeming to consider whether to answer. "Freedom?" she suggested at last. "That's not quite right, but it's close. Not having to dedicate myself to serving the rest of the galaxy without limits or reason? Something like that."

"Huh," Han said. "Interesting."

Mara regarded him for a while. "Are you ever bothered by Luke's actions?" she asked.

"By him pressuring the kids?" Han said. "Not really, most of the time. I don't think it even occurs to him as possible that they might want to do something other than be Jedi. I don't know if it's because being a Jedi is that great in some way I can't understand, or if it's just because – you know. He's Luke." He twisted his lips.

"Yeah," Mara said. "I know." She frowned. "That wasn't quite what I meant, though. I was talking about his actions in leading the Jedi. In using the Force himself."

Han shook his head. "I'm the wrong person to be asking about that. I don't know anything about the Force."

"After all the time you've been around Skywalkers?" Mara raised her eyebrows. "At the very least, you know Luke."

Han grimaced. "He can be pretty hard to pin down with this Force stuff."

"That's what I mean."

That made no sense to Han. "I'll admit that some of the things I've seen him do recently are – pretty out there."

"The extravagant uses of the Force?"

"There's that," Han said reluctantly. "And his behaviour has been a bit off, from time to time. He does some pretty odd things, you know. Says it's the will of the Force."

"You believe him?"

"What do I know? It seems nuts to me, but that's not new. Maybe it's the Force. Maybe he's struggling. I don't know."

"You could talk to him," Mara said.

Han laughed. "He's not going to listen to me. Not about something like that. Not without some kind of paranormal intervention. What he needs is to hear it from someone who has experience with the Force – you know. Someone whose opinion he really respects, whose regard means a lot to him."

Mara looked thoughtful. "What about Leia?"

He shook his head. "I'm not sure he'd listen to her, either. Besides, she still tends to defer to him when it comes to the Force – she has some blind spots with Luke."

Mara twisted her lips together. "That's not very helpful."

Han shrugged. "Maybe he'll work it out himself."

Mara gave him a highly sceptical look.

Han pushed away from the wall. "Enough about him, though."

Mara adjusted the lightsaber on her hip absently, and nodded. "I have to get back."

"Ah," Han held up a finger. "Come say hi to Jaina."

She looked pained. "I'll duck my head in," she said. "But then I'm going."

Han opened his hands. "That's all I ask."

As it turned out, she got caught up in an argument over the relative merits of hyperdrive generators, Jaina rigorously advocating the power of the Incom units while Chewie and Han defended the Series 401 generators they'd recently installed on the _Falcon_. Mara seemed to be a fan of the SoroSuub engine. She realised the time after fifteen minutes or so, and stood. She said goodbye to Jaina and Chewie, then looked at Han. She seemed to hesitate on the verge of saying something, but nodded at him instead. "Take care of the ship," she said.

"Oh, I do," Han said. He looked at her a moment, then said, "Take care of yourself."

She smiled, and, because he was watching for it, he saw a small edge of irony there. She dipped her head and left.

"Interesting," Han said as the door closed behind her.

Chewie grunted a query, but Han shook his head. "Just thinking."

Thinking indeed. He wondered, as he watched Chewie pretend to pursue a giggling Jaina around the bay, whether Mara knew what she wanted. She was certainly clear on what she _didn't_ want. Or was she?

Han shook his head, and caught his daughter as she ducked behind him. "Hey, kiddo," he said. "I know a great place for sweetrolls around here. Interested?"

Mara Jade, he thought as he followed Chewie out, Jaina in tow. Still inscrutable.

More or less.

-end-


End file.
